Love This Song!

A dear friend gave me this song... i love it!


Started rubbing sticks together
I thought a spark would take forever
I never dreamt this fire would appear

When Moses saw the Bush in flames
And heard the branches speak his name
I wonder if he felt this kind of fear

'Cause I'm burnin'
Yeah, I'm burnin'
And I know I'm gonna blister in these flames
So I'll stay here
'Till this smoke clears
And I'll find you in the ashes that remain

Used to be that I could say
My faith was one arm's length away
From any flame that ever felt too warm

Asked for matches, but I recieved
A gallon full of gasoline
Now my cozy campfire days are gone

'Cause I'm burnin'
Yeah I'm burnin'
And I know I'm gonna blister in these flames
So I'll stay here
'Till this smoke clears
And I'll find you in the ashes that remain

'Knock with caution at the door'
They said, 'Beware of what you're praying for'

So I'll stand here with my whole desire
In the middle of this forest fire
'Till I've nothing left to show
And new life begins to grow...

Nichole Nordeman - Burnin'

outside my COMFORT BOX

Well I am stepping outside my comfort box and have been asked to participate in a play hosted by the CRN (childbirth recourse network). If you have ever heard of the Vagina Monologues, this is the Birth version... the motivation behind this the play is to shine some light on the childbirth crisis in America, its a movement to make maternity care Mother-Friendly in America. I have had the privilege to be at births over seas in other cultures, in the hospitals, in the home, in birthing centers. There were some of the most beautiful moments i have witnessed in childbirth and the most shocking. The most shocking was seen in the hospitals where the "western way" was desired. lets just say it was nothing short traumatising, robbing women of their dignity and choice. If we can change the way that America views birth and pregnancy then we can change the world.

Birth is a play based on over one hundred interviews Karen Brody conducted with mothers across America who gave birth between 2000-2004. It tells the true stories of 8 women painting a portrait of how low-risk, educated women are giving birth in America today.

Please come and show your support!! I am playing janet.. one of the 8 women!

SEPT 28 2008, 1:00pm and again at 6pm
The Tower Theater, Fresno Ca

Degreenafying the ugly test with NYC!

I really need to be more consistent with my blogging because when i sit down to write you THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH TO SAY, so what i end up doing is blogging all over you; sorry!
I took a test this week, a really really hard test.
For two years my life has been leading up to taking that test on AUG. 20. 2008, and its over now! The night before the "test" Jess and I flipped through our beautifully handcrafted note cards, testing each other on our knowledge. we felt empowered by how much we had learned, but SCARED out of our minds to face our doom at 8:00 am the next day. well, we took it and let me tell you no walk in the park, not even a hike, this test felt like rock climbing up the face of half dome without any gear.Disappointment in myself set in after the test. It will be by the grace of God if we passed! but with a few encouraging notes from some great girls and great family, i feel encouraged that weather i passed or failed, i TOOK the blasted test, and i know i did my best... and for that i feel so GREAT!
Following the test Jess and i packed up and left straight for NEW YORK CITY baby! where, and can i just say words cannot describe how much fun we had! We thought as a celebratory midwife thing we would put our names in the lottery out side of The Wicked on Broadway to win free front row tickets. HA! 400 people showed up! they only choose 13 names! ha, but, and this never happens to me, WE GOT CHOSEN! AHH! so as if that was not enough, Jess knew a girl in the show, and called her up and was like "what up girl we're here front row..." so her beautifully talented friend told the whole cast that we were there and they all sang right at us! including Galinda, the monkeys waved at us! (seriously, Girls you would have died!) and if that was not enough we met up with her friend after the show outside the theater and TOOK US BACK STAGE!!!!!!! okay okay i cant contain it right now, even as im writing this i start to giggle and laugh at how incredible it all was!

Humphrey the Hernia

Well apparently I have been a little stressed out lately because after returning home from a GREAT weekend in Mammoth for the 4th of July and moving my brother the following day in SLO I received Humphrey the Hernia... yep, I got a hernia... last week it was super sore and after the lovely Dr. Accedo confirmed that yes I did have what looked to be a hernia I realized that I need to slow down and rest up a bit.
This last week has been super super busy, my mom and I are going to a wedding this weekend so I had an excuse to buy a super cute dress from Macy's and today I will look for shoes. fun fun...
Today I sit at mommy matters all day in hopes that someone will walk in and ask me to be their Doula or give them a childbirth class... but its unlikely that it will happen.,, which is actually probably a good thing... seeing how I need to direct all my efforts and brain power towards studying for the NARM (CPM TEST!!) (AND IM FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT)
Below are pictures from our hikes in Mammoth


A little coffee shop called The Looney Bean... so good!!

Their First Appearance!

Well it's official... I finally broke down and wore shorts yesterday.. my legs made their first appearance. At first they were a little timid but after a few hours they walked me around just fine, very happy that i let them get out of hibernation and get some sunshine.

Update from you "you know where"

Where to begin when so much has happened in the last three four months? its hard to start again ya know. well ill give you the fast forward version and hope that you get just enough so i can catch you up on the happenings of my life.

February: I turned the big 21!!! And spent some time exercising my newfound freedom... he he, but more importantly some of my Very Best Friends came to surprise me for my birthday. Mia, Lindsey and Kayla came from all over to celebrate with me!!!! We had one of the best weeks of my life... as you may have read in their more updated blogs. They are good for that. We spent some time in Yosemite, in SF, drove along the pacific coast for some California sun; we stayed in San Luis for a night visiting with my beef Lauren. Then ending our trip for a night in Hollywood where we saw the Broadway play The Wicked!!! We spent most of our trip just catching up, trudging our way through our not so graceful re-entry. We talked relationships, gained so much prospective that change my life. These girls are amazing!!!

March: not as exciting and even a little depressing that Feb was, as usual, the greatest month of the year, march was full of decision making for me. After the girl’s left it was like the fog was lifted and I was able to think clearly, it was amazing. I started teaching childbirth classes at Mommy Matters, a pregnancy boutique and resource center and started working there a few days a week. I continued to teach classes at the Chowchilla woman's prison where I have been teaching since I think November... I love it!!!

April: kind of boring, I think... I bought my mom Pride and Prejudice OG for her birthday and we had a marathon... it was awesome and she had never seen them before so she loved it.

May: was ridiculously busy for me.. Between working at the Zanders four days a week, teaching a childbirth series at Mommy Matters and working for M.M. a few days a week I have managed to stay super busy.
OH!! That’s right at the end of May I went to visit my Grandma in NEW MEXICO, I had a blast there... she always treats me to a massage it was so relaxing. Spent most if the time hiking in the mountains and playing with her new little mastiff, Ely. Oh and we visited the real Tombstone... that was way cool.

June has been spent getting ALL my paper work in for the NARM, the exam I have to take in august in order to get my CPM, certified professional midwife, in order to take the exam you must first qualify to take it which is a little on the stressful side if you have followed my blog since the Philippines.

Today, I was able to take off the whole day, thank the Lord! so after talking to my Lovely friend Kayla and Lindsey on skype i was inspired to catch up on reading every ones blogs and write in my own!!!! today i feel so relaxed im sitting outside of my coffee shop sipping on my late and enjoying the sun!!!

V-day In all its Glory

Valentines Day
Morning: painted a wall purple, while listening to Rush Limba make fun of all the candidates that are running for President. lame
Afternoon: spent on the computer emailing the best people ever!!! also thinking to myself, today does not have to be depressing... dang it! Singles awareness day baby... thriving...
Mid-afternoon: did my make-up, work starts at one... maybe if i get all dalled up... someone will come in and sweep me off my feet in honor of V day, wishfull thinking. even changed my myspace status to Hopefull:)
late afternoon: Hopefullness has vanished like a fart in the wind as my dad said this morning when talking about one of the political figures. work is sucking now and i have spilt steamed milk on shoe... lame
Evening: im 45 minutes behind on my closing duities. and no one has come by to steal me away. any hopes of a fun exciting romantic night are gone... and i found myself walking around aimlessly around the grocery store...ALONE!
Now: im at starbucks... yes i left one coffee shop for another. im waiting for my friend ange who is not here yet... no one is here actually.. where could everyone be... oh wait i know... ITS VALLY DAY! they all must have something to do.... lame
sorry for the pitty party....

All Ale Alex!!

In preperation for my 21st Birthday, Friday was spent brewing my first Ale! My dad and I attempted to make a Tamarack Amber Ale aka the Alexandra Ale... and despite some mishaps on my part I think that it might actually turn out. After boiling the water, we mixed the malted grains in the mashing ton (refer to first two pics) then took the extract and made the wort. See I learned something... after adding hops and waiting and waiting the finished product sits in the glass 5 gallon bottle. We added the yeast and now are waiting for it to ferment till my birthday. Fun huh?

well hello there...

Well I know that I have not written you in awhile. I have been a little preoccupied with life. Not that I feel like I have been participating in it much, more like I have been a spectator. I miss my Girls (you know who you are) and im tired of trying to keep up with the pace of life I expected myself to have. Today I went to Fresno with my fam. my mom spent the afternoon in job fair and my dad and I spent about 4 hours driving around waiting patiently in the car playing name that tune on the radio... yes I know we have not upgraded to the ipod craze in the car yet... in between yelling at my dad to turn the heat up in the car, I was able to finish a book that Jenna gave to me a few months ago. It was insightful and made me dip into my emotions more than I was expecting to. I had a subway sandwich today that I wasn’t totally into. I am a faithful customer to the Coarsegold subway... any others always disappoint me. Mia I know I would love yours though!! Oh and I went by the apple/Mac store to buy apple care extend warranty for my laptop and found out that I missed eligible time limit by two days!!! Can you believe it... oh well at least I was able to pay my target bill this way... ahhhh well now that I have bored you with my day, I will let you go... just thought I would let you all know in the blogging world that I am still alive!!!

above are a few pictures from Thanksgiving/christmas/New Years