Name?

Well I need to come up with a name for my midwifery services and I am completely at a lost! The other day I thought I figured one out but low and behold it already exists! That has been the biggest issue so if anyone out there in the blogging world have any ideas I WOULD BE SOOOO delighted!!!
couple ideas: iBirth (which was my favorite)
Nesting Midwifery
Yosemite Childbirth Resource????
as you can see... I NEED HELP HERE!!!
I really like the idea of it having something to do with a nest, and what that represents, when I think about mother and baby I picture a nest with a bird protecting her nest...

Saying goodbye to 2010

How do you sum up what has been the most monumental year of your life? Not only did I settle into a new life as a newlywed with the love of my life Michael but we welcomed a new love into our lives. May 2010 I gave birth to what has brought me more joy then ever imaginable. After getting married and feeling more love in my heart than I ever thought possible, Leo was born and rocked our world!!. This year has been a year full of first. first place together, first baby, first holidays as a family, first words (Dada:)), first married couple fight, first married couple make up, and I became a California Licensed Midwife... it has been nothing short of amazing. And although at this time last year I was scared and just praying that I would survive what looked like such a crazy roller-coaster ride I find myself begging God to slow it down so I can enjoy every minute. Goodbye 2010 hello 2011, what on earth are you doing to do to top 2010?!

Love and Marriage

Well it seems as though I should start up the ol' bog again since in the past year there has been much to blog about...
November 28 2009, one of the happiest days of my life, after five in half years Michael and I tied the knot. We had a beautiful wedding, I loved it!! We danced the night away to our favorite music and with our favorite people (minus a few unfortunately). The whole day was magical and better than I could have ever imagined. My mom, myself, my aunts and friends the whole day before did all the floral arrangements for the tables and all the boutonniere for the guys. it was so fun:) After the wedding we headed off to Monterey for honeymoon:) It was a blast!!! Here are just a few pictures... to view more check out my Facebook

Faith

This is a picture at one of our homebirths!!! Presenting little baby June
Detrah is in the pink, she is the wonderful midwife that i work with:)

Birth is a normal, natural function that is designed so well physiologically that it rarely needs outside assistance. Many midwives know this intellectually, but it can take time to develop a heart's worth of trust.

An explanation of the nature of faith: When you sit on a chair, you believe it will hold you up and you do not even give a thought that it might collapse under your body. You trust the design of the chair, and you've had experience and know it is trustworthy. Imagine trying to sit on it and having strangers walk in and attach you to a monitor—just in case this chair should collapse. Imagine being denied food and water in case the chair fails and you need surgery. What if you've heard chair horror stories all your life, and you doubt your ability to cope with the discomforts of sitting on a chair? Faith in the design of the chair creates an attitude of trust that allows you to release with abandon the tension of your body to the chair.

Sometimes pregnant women are short on faith about their abilities to give birth. Often, whether we realize it or not, it is faith that they want and need from us. Faith is a quality and an attitude that can make or break some labors. Anyone who has been in a situation that tested their mettle and caused them to doubt themselves but had at least one advocate saying, "Go for it! I know you can do it" has experienced the power of faith. In my practice, I'm amazed at the difference of wisdom that flows out of me when working with those who trust me versus those who are very fearful of birth with a midwife.

— Excerpted from "A Matter of Faith," by Caroline Eustice, Midwifery Today Issue 17

More pics:)

Lil Update!

I hate when I don't blog for ages for many reasons, one being, not one person out there still reads my blog so Ill just write for kicks:) two; there is much to blog about!! How do I fit in the following; heading off to Canada to visit my most favorite people in the world, coming home and hiking the great Half Dome, a beautiful day at Yosemite's Glacier Point followed by a killer dinner with my Love at the Bug in Yosemite!
Its been a wonderfully great and busy summer so far, today I'm off to water aerobics with my 70-80 year old girlfriends then hopefully get some charting done for my very first Midwifery client! yay!!I feel ready but I'm still feeling like I'm not quite ready to fully step in the midwifery world:/ but i know i have worked hard for it and I'm super excited!! my wonderful midwife that i work with will be overseeing everything and is always there for me when if i ever have any questions at all!

Brain Blob

Brain space... well round two at taking my Board Exam to be a midwife, and I feel humbled to say the least. i sat in sterile feeling room inside the Medical Board of California while my crazy proctor read word for word the test prep shpeel. I broke the seal on the test and there i was taking the stinking NARM!!! I got through it and finished with a stiff neck and what felt like a brain explosion... I then made my way to a coffee shop and sat in hopes that i passed and made my phone calls to the family and told them I really didnt know if i passed or not... i suck at test taking!!! for reals i do!! I know I know all the information on that test... i know enough to pass it no problem but i just cant get over the nerves of testing... AHHHHHHHHHHHoh well... we will see..
Now with this test being over with i have so much more brain space, i got caught up on all my blog reading, i watched American Idol with my Cousins, who are down from seattle for a visit, we played spoons till midnight they are so so great!!!!
and now i will be heading home and am planning on crashing on the couch while watching the Office tonight....ahh:)

Love This Song!

A dear friend gave me this song... i love it!


Started rubbing sticks together
I thought a spark would take forever
I never dreamt this fire would appear

When Moses saw the Bush in flames
And heard the branches speak his name
I wonder if he felt this kind of fear

'Cause I'm burnin'
Yeah, I'm burnin'
And I know I'm gonna blister in these flames
So I'll stay here
'Till this smoke clears
And I'll find you in the ashes that remain

Used to be that I could say
My faith was one arm's length away
From any flame that ever felt too warm

Asked for matches, but I recieved
A gallon full of gasoline
Now my cozy campfire days are gone

'Cause I'm burnin'
Yeah I'm burnin'
And I know I'm gonna blister in these flames
So I'll stay here
'Till this smoke clears
And I'll find you in the ashes that remain

'Knock with caution at the door'
They said, 'Beware of what you're praying for'

So I'll stand here with my whole desire
In the middle of this forest fire
'Till I've nothing left to show
And new life begins to grow...

Nichole Nordeman - Burnin'

outside my COMFORT BOX

Well I am stepping outside my comfort box and have been asked to participate in a play hosted by the CRN (childbirth recourse network). If you have ever heard of the Vagina Monologues, this is the Birth version... the motivation behind this the play is to shine some light on the childbirth crisis in America, its a movement to make maternity care Mother-Friendly in America. I have had the privilege to be at births over seas in other cultures, in the hospitals, in the home, in birthing centers. There were some of the most beautiful moments i have witnessed in childbirth and the most shocking. The most shocking was seen in the hospitals where the "western way" was desired. lets just say it was nothing short traumatising, robbing women of their dignity and choice. If we can change the way that America views birth and pregnancy then we can change the world.

Birth is a play based on over one hundred interviews Karen Brody conducted with mothers across America who gave birth between 2000-2004. It tells the true stories of 8 women painting a portrait of how low-risk, educated women are giving birth in America today.

Please come and show your support!! I am playing janet.. one of the 8 women!

SEPT 28 2008, 1:00pm and again at 6pm
The Tower Theater, Fresno Ca

Degreenafying the ugly test with NYC!

I really need to be more consistent with my blogging because when i sit down to write you THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH TO SAY, so what i end up doing is blogging all over you; sorry!
I took a test this week, a really really hard test.
For two years my life has been leading up to taking that test on AUG. 20. 2008, and its over now! The night before the "test" Jess and I flipped through our beautifully handcrafted note cards, testing each other on our knowledge. we felt empowered by how much we had learned, but SCARED out of our minds to face our doom at 8:00 am the next day. well, we took it and let me tell you no walk in the park, not even a hike, this test felt like rock climbing up the face of half dome without any gear.Disappointment in myself set in after the test. It will be by the grace of God if we passed! but with a few encouraging notes from some great girls and great family, i feel encouraged that weather i passed or failed, i TOOK the blasted test, and i know i did my best... and for that i feel so GREAT!
Following the test Jess and i packed up and left straight for NEW YORK CITY baby! where, and can i just say words cannot describe how much fun we had! We thought as a celebratory midwife thing we would put our names in the lottery out side of The Wicked on Broadway to win free front row tickets. HA! 400 people showed up! they only choose 13 names! ha, but, and this never happens to me, WE GOT CHOSEN! AHH! so as if that was not enough, Jess knew a girl in the show, and called her up and was like "what up girl we're here front row..." so her beautifully talented friend told the whole cast that we were there and they all sang right at us! including Galinda, the monkeys waved at us! (seriously, Girls you would have died!) and if that was not enough we met up with her friend after the show outside the theater and TOOK US BACK STAGE!!!!!!! okay okay i cant contain it right now, even as im writing this i start to giggle and laugh at how incredible it all was!

Humphrey the Hernia

Well apparently I have been a little stressed out lately because after returning home from a GREAT weekend in Mammoth for the 4th of July and moving my brother the following day in SLO I received Humphrey the Hernia... yep, I got a hernia... last week it was super sore and after the lovely Dr. Accedo confirmed that yes I did have what looked to be a hernia I realized that I need to slow down and rest up a bit.
This last week has been super super busy, my mom and I are going to a wedding this weekend so I had an excuse to buy a super cute dress from Macy's and today I will look for shoes. fun fun...
Today I sit at mommy matters all day in hopes that someone will walk in and ask me to be their Doula or give them a childbirth class... but its unlikely that it will happen.,, which is actually probably a good thing... seeing how I need to direct all my efforts and brain power towards studying for the NARM (CPM TEST!!) (AND IM FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT)
Below are pictures from our hikes in Mammoth


A little coffee shop called The Looney Bean... so good!!

Their First Appearance!

Well it's official... I finally broke down and wore shorts yesterday.. my legs made their first appearance. At first they were a little timid but after a few hours they walked me around just fine, very happy that i let them get out of hibernation and get some sunshine.

Update from you "you know where"

Where to begin when so much has happened in the last three four months? its hard to start again ya know. well ill give you the fast forward version and hope that you get just enough so i can catch you up on the happenings of my life.

February: I turned the big 21!!! And spent some time exercising my newfound freedom... he he, but more importantly some of my Very Best Friends came to surprise me for my birthday. Mia, Lindsey and Kayla came from all over to celebrate with me!!!! We had one of the best weeks of my life... as you may have read in their more updated blogs. They are good for that. We spent some time in Yosemite, in SF, drove along the pacific coast for some California sun; we stayed in San Luis for a night visiting with my beef Lauren. Then ending our trip for a night in Hollywood where we saw the Broadway play The Wicked!!! We spent most of our trip just catching up, trudging our way through our not so graceful re-entry. We talked relationships, gained so much prospective that change my life. These girls are amazing!!!

March: not as exciting and even a little depressing that Feb was, as usual, the greatest month of the year, march was full of decision making for me. After the girl’s left it was like the fog was lifted and I was able to think clearly, it was amazing. I started teaching childbirth classes at Mommy Matters, a pregnancy boutique and resource center and started working there a few days a week. I continued to teach classes at the Chowchilla woman's prison where I have been teaching since I think November... I love it!!!

April: kind of boring, I think... I bought my mom Pride and Prejudice OG for her birthday and we had a marathon... it was awesome and she had never seen them before so she loved it.

May: was ridiculously busy for me.. Between working at the Zanders four days a week, teaching a childbirth series at Mommy Matters and working for M.M. a few days a week I have managed to stay super busy.
OH!! That’s right at the end of May I went to visit my Grandma in NEW MEXICO, I had a blast there... she always treats me to a massage it was so relaxing. Spent most if the time hiking in the mountains and playing with her new little mastiff, Ely. Oh and we visited the real Tombstone... that was way cool.

June has been spent getting ALL my paper work in for the NARM, the exam I have to take in august in order to get my CPM, certified professional midwife, in order to take the exam you must first qualify to take it which is a little on the stressful side if you have followed my blog since the Philippines.

Today, I was able to take off the whole day, thank the Lord! so after talking to my Lovely friend Kayla and Lindsey on skype i was inspired to catch up on reading every ones blogs and write in my own!!!! today i feel so relaxed im sitting outside of my coffee shop sipping on my late and enjoying the sun!!!

V-day In all its Glory

Valentines Day
Morning: painted a wall purple, while listening to Rush Limba make fun of all the candidates that are running for President. lame
Afternoon: spent on the computer emailing the best people ever!!! also thinking to myself, today does not have to be depressing... dang it! Singles awareness day baby... thriving...
Mid-afternoon: did my make-up, work starts at one... maybe if i get all dalled up... someone will come in and sweep me off my feet in honor of V day, wishfull thinking. even changed my myspace status to Hopefull:)
late afternoon: Hopefullness has vanished like a fart in the wind as my dad said this morning when talking about one of the political figures. work is sucking now and i have spilt steamed milk on shoe... lame
Evening: im 45 minutes behind on my closing duities. and no one has come by to steal me away. any hopes of a fun exciting romantic night are gone... and i found myself walking around aimlessly around the grocery store...ALONE!
Now: im at starbucks... yes i left one coffee shop for another. im waiting for my friend ange who is not here yet... no one is here actually.. where could everyone be... oh wait i know... ITS VALLY DAY! they all must have something to do.... lame
sorry for the pitty party....

All Ale Alex!!

In preperation for my 21st Birthday, Friday was spent brewing my first Ale! My dad and I attempted to make a Tamarack Amber Ale aka the Alexandra Ale... and despite some mishaps on my part I think that it might actually turn out. After boiling the water, we mixed the malted grains in the mashing ton (refer to first two pics) then took the extract and made the wort. See I learned something... after adding hops and waiting and waiting the finished product sits in the glass 5 gallon bottle. We added the yeast and now are waiting for it to ferment till my birthday. Fun huh?

well hello there...

Well I know that I have not written you in awhile. I have been a little preoccupied with life. Not that I feel like I have been participating in it much, more like I have been a spectator. I miss my Girls (you know who you are) and im tired of trying to keep up with the pace of life I expected myself to have. Today I went to Fresno with my fam. my mom spent the afternoon in job fair and my dad and I spent about 4 hours driving around waiting patiently in the car playing name that tune on the radio... yes I know we have not upgraded to the ipod craze in the car yet... in between yelling at my dad to turn the heat up in the car, I was able to finish a book that Jenna gave to me a few months ago. It was insightful and made me dip into my emotions more than I was expecting to. I had a subway sandwich today that I wasn’t totally into. I am a faithful customer to the Coarsegold subway... any others always disappoint me. Mia I know I would love yours though!! Oh and I went by the apple/Mac store to buy apple care extend warranty for my laptop and found out that I missed eligible time limit by two days!!! Can you believe it... oh well at least I was able to pay my target bill this way... ahhhh well now that I have bored you with my day, I will let you go... just thought I would let you all know in the blogging world that I am still alive!!!

above are a few pictures from Thanksgiving/christmas/New Years

Im Going to Peru!!

So a lovely friend of mine Christen Marrow... I know im not supposed to use full names for confidentiality reasons but what the H... she gave me 43,000 of her frequent flyer miles to go with her to Peru for like 10 days... Holy Cow im so excited.... and we are trying to make it in the right timing to go to her friend Monica... {Who Lauren stayed with when she went to Peru} birth... you see in Peru, culturally, men are not allowed in the birth room... so Monica had asked Christen to go to her birth as a doula... well one thing led to another and christen told Monica that I was studying to be a midwife and I ended up being invited to go to the birth. So we will see... yay

Life in HD

My dad has this TV that has "High Definition” which now means that each show is featured twice one in just regular boring definition and then the other with the little signal next to the info that says HD.. Now my thoughts are this, why on earth if there is an option to watch in HD would i chose the boring regular life def. over the glorified HD??? Well i don’t really know... but i do find myself choosing to watch the reg over the new and improved "High definition"... It could be because i low self esteem and choosing the less of the two somehow puts things in perspective for me... or maybe I relate with it a little more right now. I feel as though since being home from the Philippines my life has been in snail speed. And instead of being this on fire ready for anything coming my way, i find myself in this time of transition, i want to figure things out for me, when i was away i decided to cut the puppet strings and grow up a bit and let God and me hang out, mano y mano, Live to his agenda and not what "everyone" thinks my agenda should look like ... well in the process of doing so I am finding that answers come a little slower and this snail like transition is causing somewhat of an uproar but... I feel like its good. Anyways sorry for the " blob" of words ... this was just what was in my head.

The Dome and I are Friends

I, Alex Michel, concord the Dome Monday...it was one of those things that i wanted to do before i die... my mom was convinced that by climbing the Dome that i would die so it was a little ironic...maybe the dome should have been the last thing i did...but luckily i made it and still in one piece mostly... it kicked my butt that’s for sure....

The End...kinda

My time in Singapore is wrapping up and it has been such a great time of relaxing, recouping and a little Operah to get myself in the coming home mode. In the mean time, I have been fighting off a nasty little cold that has followed me around for a month and I think that I have finally kicked it...woo hoo!!!! I know I started to give some of you a scare with the combination of a 102 temp. And a fungus type outbreak on my leg that appeared shortly after I hit my shin on the stairs at the clinic, but happy to report there is no sign of Gang Green.... no temp and no Green well I wont finish that sentence for Kayla’s sake. We will have five days to finish saying goodbyes and turning in last minute homework assignments in Manila before we make the big move home. I am so excited to be coming home I cant even believe that its here already...it hasn’t really hit me yet, so if your reading this and thinking she doesn’t sound all that pumped.... it could be one: I’m writing this after a week of insomnia due to the excitement.... two: like I said it hasn’t hit me yet...or three...I’m experiencing somewhat of a bitter sweetness; here people...women respect me as their medical professional.... they let me care for them through their pregnancy, they come to me with real problems and concerns, they let me deliver their babies and stitch them up after words...and home, it will be very different...people still think that midwives are just are granola bars who just sing and dance and wait for the baby to just plop out..(Not quite the reality). I loved my time here; there is nothing else i can say about it. There were a lot of times where i felt like....”What the he..ck was i thinking" but all in all God has changed me in ways that i hope i can exhibit when i get home. Thank you all for your love, your generosity, your prayers.... your emails:)..they meant the world to me while i have been here. This time was worth every tear, every mystery meat, and every baby. Thank you.